Stupid things you've done !

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A dirty westie I went to school with wasn't fond of showers and general cleanliness... start of year 9 he got an infenction Down below... dirty foreskin...and had to get circumcised. Was prob from sleeping with his sister, she was just as filthy.
Ballarat breeds the best people :)
 
madtuna said:
Not me but a mate.

Had a mate who's new girl friend had her tongue, nipples and navel pierced.
She convinced him he should get a piercing too.

Anyway, one night at about 11.30pm I get a frantic phone call to come over...I mean urgently come over, break the speed limit type of urgent.

I get there and what had happened was he decided to do his piercing himself.
He had a few rums for braveness, got a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer to numb his willy, removed his ear stud and wiped it with detol then laid his willy out on the dining room :D table.

He then lined up the ear stud where he wanted it and gave it a firm whack with a meat tenderizer.

Stupid idiot nailed himself to the dining room table!!

His old boy was swelling up and looked almost like it swallowed the ear stud. He was in a hell of a state and couldn't pull it loose because of the pain.
I had to go to his shed and raid his tool box and eventually pried it loose with a pair of pointy nosed pliers.
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Thought you where going to say he missed and smashed his knob with a hammer 8.(
 
Some good stories in here :lol: what is it with electric fences, I don't know how many times I have dusted myself on them, I remember getting home from work one night around 2:30am, it was cold and wet and I had 3 poddy calves down in a hay shed. They must have seen the lights as I came down the back driveway and knew I was home, the little buggers get so attached and were calling out to be fed. So I figured ok it's a cold night, I'll quickly make them up a bottle each and go feed them.
So I made the bottles up and headed down the back about 100m to the hay shed, they were warm and dry on loose hay but they were only about 2 weeks old and I figured they would appreciate a warm feed so they could settle. Sorted the little guys out and headed back up to the house, so I get to the gate and we had a hot wire running diagonally across the front of it to the next dropper with one of those plastic "warning electric fence" signs hanging on it. Normally I would just grab the sign, push it down kinda thing and carefully step over.......

So yeah that night it was drizzling and I had 3 glass bottles with slobber all over them from the calves tucked in the arm. I grabbed the sign and went to step over, somehow it slipped and the wire came up hit me fair in the jatz crackers.....I yelled out in shock/pain the bottles went flying and I fell forward into the gate with it copping me right above the left eye, I saw stars and immediately felt something warm and familiar running down my face.

The Doctor and Nurse were amused at how I ended up in the ER at 3am getting 6 stitches in my forehead :eek:

Another time I had to come home early from fishing with a 2/0 Baitholder hook (the ones with the back barbs) lodged right across my nose, nostril to nostril
the nurse looked at me, stuck her tongue out and made that sign with her hand and said "yeah!.....Punk Rock!"

......and then there was that time I accidentally? got shot in the thigh with a .22lr :p
 
An electric fence got me as well.
I was playing golf and knocked my approach shot through the green and out of bounds. I could see my ball along with about half a dozen others just over the fence so just walked over and threw the leg over the wire. The penny dropped really quick as to why nobody had retrieved their balls and I thought I was going to lose mine but then I made my second mistake, I continued over the fence. With my pockets full of golf balls I had to bite the bullet and do it again, never made that mistake again.
 
iv'e been trying to think of something funny but nothing comes to mind.

im sure iv'e done things that looked funny but i ended up injured, like when i fell down the back stairs, but i got a smashed disc out of that, and when i was fishing i fell down an embankment and landed on my back on a half foot round river rock...... yep smashed disc number 2. i bet it looked funny though.

when i was about 12 i had a box of matches and was lighting a cracker and the wick dropped into the box and ignited them and lifted all the skin off the side of my thumb...... funny now but not then :).

there was this time at band camp....... :D
 
numpty said:
iv'e been trying to think of something funny but nothing comes to mind.

im sure iv'e done things that looked funny but i ended up injured, like when i fell down the back stairs, but i got a smashed disc out of that, and when i was fishing i fell down an embankment and landed on my back on a half foot round river rock...... yep smashed disc number 2. i bet it looked funny though.

when i was about 12 i had a box of matches and was lighting a cracker and the wick dropped into the box and ignited them and lifted all the skin off the side of my thumb...... funny now but not then :).

there was this time at band camp....... :D
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What happened at band camp ?
 
As a young teenage footballer in country Victoria my team went on an end of season footy trip across the border to the fair city of Adelaide.

I've always been pretty respectful of others (apart from morons who ask for it) & kept on the right side of the law but.....

We were politely asked to leave a strip club late Saturday night by management & as I was having trouble walking two of my mates were helping support/drag me along one under each arm. As we were crossing a busy street & waiting in the middle to get across I swung my boot out at a passing car (as you do :rolleyes: ) & made good contact with the back door. The car (taxi as it turned out) screeched to a halt & the driver got out yelling abuse (rightfully). The mates dragged me through the traffic to the other side of the road & into a small caf with the old style cubicle seating. They lay me on one of the seats & went to order some food. After a few minutes I sat up looking around for my two mates. I wobbled up to the counter & the chick serving said that the cops & a taxi driver came in & they all left together.
I staggered out the door & there was a cop car sitting there with lights flashing & no one in sight. Then I heard a noise coming from the nearby alley I poked my head around the corner & my two mates were getting a touch up from the cops. I thought about sneaking off but my conscience got the best of me.
I yelled to the cops that they had the wrong person & I was invited to come down the alley & join the party. The boys told my mates to pi$$ off & told me "if you fight back we'll call the cavalry & you'll really get it..... plus spend the night in the slammer....... or I could take it like a man".
Some where I've read that cops use rubber truncheons cos they don't leave incriminating bruises...... yeh right. :(
Rob.
 
fish4gold3 said:
spent a whole weekend researching and building a high banker only to find out I can't use one
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Back to the shed for you mate, take the hopper off and add a flare to the sluice, got yourself a river sluice.

I posted in response to your comments on that other thread, but yeah until it blows over a bit, or the people fighting the hard fight get a win under their belts, stick to the river sluice to be safe and sure.
 

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