Buttered Side Down

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An American science and technology magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on ANY subject. Below is the winner:

Subject: Perpetual Motion

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it almost always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of heavily buttered toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two equal and opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

.and then the above published article got this reply from one of its readers:

Reply:

Ive been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while.

In the buttered toast case, its the butter that causes it to land buttered side down it doesnt have to be toast, the theory works equally well with say Jacobs crackers. Its the butter thats important, so to save money you just miss out the toast and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the cats and butter, there are other substances that have an even stronger affinity for carpet. This is shown as follows:

The probability p of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:

P = s * |t(t) t(c)| , where:

s is the stain value of the toast covering substance an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining an average carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, whilst the s value of water is zero.
t(c) and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even Chicken Tikka Masala wont cause an obvious or even a permanent stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use Chicken Tikka Masala and say a white carpet in fact this combination gives a p value of 1.0, which is the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with Chicken Tikka Masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be a problem with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying that it wouldnt have happened if their party was in power, as there would have been more R&D investment in cat-toast glue research.

It is therefore in the interests not only of public safety, but also public sanity, that the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped in favour of the monorail system using cats smeared with Chicken Tikka Masala floating above a rail made from white shag-pile carpet.
 
:lol: I loved it! But do they have to use cats? I believe a sugar glider would be more effective! Perfect for the buttered toast attachment! :lol:

1599911942_sugar_glider.jpg
 
Is the butter high fat or low fat? High fat is likely to make the bread fall faster, whilst low fat will fall slower, allowing more air flow under the bread, more likely enabling the bread to turn over during the fall.
 
There is also this question.
Is the Cat a short hair or Persian. ?

This could effect the out come both aerodynamically and
the adhesion rate of the buttered toast as it detaches from the carrier. O:)
 
Tathradj said:
There is also this question.
Is the Cat a short hair or Persian. ?

This could effect the out come both aerodynamically and
the adhesion rate of the buttered toast as it detaches from the carrier. O:)

Does the cat have fleas? Fleas on the hair will affect it also
 

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